The U's-letter: Issue #4

This week at United: a poor defeat at the weekend followed by a mental evening in the pizza motors trophy

If there’s one thing Monk’s team have taught us so far this August, it’s that they’re going to be entertaining. That might well be primarily through dreadful defending, but if we continue to be able to score 3 or 4 more regularly then the goal difference stats will make for some interesting reading at the very least.

August ended with maybe the most disappointing performance yet this season at Bristol Rovers, with the U’s not even managing much of the attacking verve and chance creation we’d seen in recent defeats. It all felt very flat. It might be the start of some more legitimate worries as Rovers are, by the standards of League One this season, not a particularly strong outfit.

A midweek game down in Bromley to kick off the Pizza Motors Paint trophy, or whatever it’s now called, you would have expected could do wonders for a bit of confidence - but having gone two goals down, managing to turn it around and lead 3-2, only for Jack Stevens to once again lose control of his body when collecting the ball, it ended 3-3 and United lost on penalties.

UTAS’ view is that a penalty shootout in the group stage of a tournament that features under 23 teams is a silly premise for a serious football competition. But regardless, the worries are piling up, and the time to fix them will run out quickly.

This week’s U’s-letter is slightly shorter due to an international break this weekend, but hope you enjoy it regardless. Really hope you all get to enjoy the weekend off not worrying about the United score. God knows we all need it.

📰 News From The U’s 📰

• The Women’s Team beat the Men’s to securing their first win of the season, and it was a resounding one, smashing Chesham United 6-1 at St Neots. The impressive Isabella Simmons got four of them.

• We’ve been rightly celebrated for our kits this season, and our deal with Umbro has been extended in a “multi-year deal”.

✍️ At The Match ✍️

Bristol Rovers 2-0 U’s

Written by Owen Kiernan. Subscribe to The Antler for regular match reports.

Back to the routine on Saturday then, as United fell to their customary defeat at Bristol Rovers (our last win there coming thanks to John Turner and Justin Walker back in 2003).

United started fairly Brightly, Josh Stokes showing his class early on but it was Rovers who came closest to opening the scoring. United’s best chance came from who else but Lavery, although the pressure was all on the U’s defence. Rovers took the lead after half an hour as Promise Omochere found himself completely unmarked and through on goal, his simple chip over Reyes was definitely one of the easier goals he’ll score. I’m not sure whose man he was - probably O’Riordan’s who was miles away, but Digby was closest and he was never going to cover the ground to get in front of Omochere and stop the shot. It’s worth pointing out that Rovers gained possession from yet another poor Korey Smith pass - that’s at least three goals he’s had a hand in gifting to the opposition now, from who’s meant to be one of our best players.

O’Riordan was involved in the second goal too, failing to be strong enough to prevent Omochere from turning and finishing in the box. O’Riordan came to us with some good pedigree and glowing reviews but he’s been caught out a few times now and it’s not good enough. He’s young, but that’s not an excuse and if he can’t learn from Morro or Monk then he needs dropping. The only issue is who replaces him?

The game was all Rovers from then on, and although sub Brophy hit the bar late on (more ammo for the “actually he’s really good” crowd), we were never getting back into this like we did against Blackpool.

🧐 View From The Away End 🧐

Bristol Rovers

From The Talking Gas Pod

I thought we were pretty dominant for most of it, managing to get ourselves into dangerous areas a lot. Cambridge had a lot of possession but didn’t really do much with it. There was that chance early on that Griffiths saved from Lavery, but then apart from the last 5 minutes it was pretty comfortable.

I was expecting a lot more from Cambridge to be honest, especially after being 4-1 down against Blackpool last week and coming back to draw. But overall it was one of the easier games I think we’re going to have this season. I could see you were trying to play out from the back a lot but I thought you looked really poor and it was a pretty comfortable win for Rovers.

FANCY BEATING US AT EFL FANTASY? LINK BELOW 👇

🔢 Stats Corner 🔢

• As mentioned a few times, Saturday's loss marks the 6th game in a row away to Rovers where United failed to win. 5 losses and 1 draw since our last win there on October 18, 2003

• United's field tilt was the highest it's been all season: but at 48.4%, it still means Rovers had more touches in our third than we had in their third... despite having nearly 66% overall possession.

  • That 66% possession, incidentally, is the most we’ve had in the league so far this season. But it’s about what you do with it, and as that field tilt stat suggests, not enough.

• Where have winless teams after 4 games finished in previous seasons, you ask? History tells us there is (obviously) still lots of reasons to be hopeful:

  • 23/24 - Orient and Burton were the bottom two, having only scored 2 and 1 goal respectively, and both on -6 GD. Both stayed up. Worth noting Cheltenham, Fleetwood, Carlisle were also all winless too and all went down, although Cheltenham and Fleetwood took it to the last day.

    22/23 - Cheltenham and Burton were bottom two. Burton were on -8 GD and had conceded 12 in their first four games, Cheltenham had scored just 2. Both stayed up. Morecambe and MK (despite having won a game) made up the bottom four, and both went down although, famously, took it to the last day.

  • 21/22 - Five teams winless after four games this season, Shrewsbury (no goals scored, 7 conceded), Charlton and Ipswich (where are they now?) being three who all stayed up. Ipswich had conceded 8 goals, just one less than us, and Charlton had scored just 2. The other 2 were Crewe and Donny, who did go down without much of a fight.

🔮 Opposition Preview 🔮

No preview this week as we’re all on a much-needed international break (‘much-needed’ after four league games tells you everything about how chaotic our August as felt). This might be the best place to say it - just three games survived the postponements this weekend, just pause League One for internationals if it’s going to be like this, it’s ludicrous.

But while you’re here, go and check out the latest pod to get a Bristol Rovers review and a look over the transfer window with Jord and Tom.

🏟️ Under The Other Stands 🏟️

• Winless teams update: just one other remains. Gratefully buffering us from rock bottom of the league, Leyton Orient, who this weekend suffered a 3-0 defeat at another one of our likely relegation rivals, Shrewsbury Town. Huge win for the Shrews.

• Stockport and Wrexham make up the top two on 10 points each. Weird what a ludicrous amount of money pumped into clubs from non-league onwards can do to a club isn’t it. Wrexham did win 2-0 at P*sh though, so every cloud. Despite not being overly impressive so far by all accounts, Birmingham join them on 10 points, which feel ominous.

• Exeter beating Bolton 2-0 away from home is exactly the sort of result you don’t want to see.

💻 Social Digest 💻

After spending somewhere in the region of £15 million on one footballer, this iconic clip from the Harry Enfield show is Birmingham City encapsulated.

Football is a wonderful game. And when you hear home fans as livid as these St Johnstone fans to the Motherwell commentators after ‘The Well’ scored a last-minute, it only gets better.

📚 Read And Listen 🎧

• United legend Harrison Dunk is now part of the PFA’s legal team, and this little intro video is brilliant. What a legend.

• More about Birmingham’s insane summer of spending here.

• Jonathan Wilson’s piece on the legendary Sven-Göran Eriksson who sadly passed away last week is unmissable.

🕺 What’s Spinning? 🕺

Queens rapper Action Bronson never misses. His new record ‘JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACHLAVA THE DOCTOR’ is as good as the title.

Thanks for reading this week’s U’s-letter. Send us through any suggestions to include in next week’s issue, or general feedback to hello@undertheabbeystand.com