Leyton Orient 2-0 U's: Ten Reasons I Hate Leyton Orient

Most U's fans love Orient away; it's just down the road, there's some okay pubs nearby, and the prospect of an evening out in London after. Not @vinylperez though, he HATES Orient away, and here's here with an extremely bitter match report to explain the reasons why.

1) Tommy Taylor

Let's start back at the start then, in 1997 to be precise. Tommy Taylor was a reasonably popular U's manager, but had his head turned by the O's. Once claimed that Orient was only half an hour down the M11 (I don't think even Jordan Slew could do it in that time) and then said he would walk there himself to get out of Cambridge.

2) Matthew "Billy" Beall, Matt Joseph, Tony Richards & Scott McGleish

Okay, Beall and Richards were pretty shit, and Joseph was merely alright, but U's fans were really excited by the prospect of signing Scott McGleish, despite being an ex-Scummer. He'd scored a couple of goals for us on loan and looked like the striker we needed to give us a promotion push. Tommy Taylor signed the lot of them for Orient. I think he even took Scott Barrett too, and Steve Evans protege Paul Raynor ended up there after a spell in China as well.

3) Peter Shilton

He's pretty much destroyed any legacy he might have had by becoming a Twitter gammon, but there was a time when Shilton was looking for a short term contract in order to play his 1000th professional game. His mate Taylor had seemingly convinced him to join the U's, until they decided to pitch up at Leyton Orient instead, where the Sky cameras and national press made a massive fuss about Shilton and Orient.

4) Barry Hearn

I was once at an event where Barry Hearn was a guest. He came over and started chatting up my date for the evening, then offered to buy me a drink. I asked for a pint, he got me half a lager and lime. Tosser.

5) Their Ground

It might be easy to get to, but it's a pretty miserable little place really isn't it? In the interests of fairness though, I will give it this: the food is excellent (by football food standards). But that is all.

6) 31 December 2016

Part-time Disney actor Ollie Palmer scored a last minute equaliser against us at Brisbane Road, capping a pretty miserable year. The person in front of me in the queue bought the last ticket in the away end so I had to go and queue up again and sit in the home stand, surrounded by morons making racist comments towards Uche Ikpeazu

7) 7 March 2020

One of the worst United performances in living memory as we did absolutely fuck all against an Orient side that was utterly crap too. Football got cancelled a few days later as Covid ravaged the country, so I'll blame them for that too.

8) Westfield Shopping Centre

Okay, I'm reaching now, but I'm trying to make it a round ten... awful awful place, a total pit of despair. Why anyone would voluntarily choose to go here I don't know.

9 & 10) 26 August 2023

Alright, maybe I can't make it ten, but yesterday was so bad it should count for two anyway. Shit journey down thanks to the collective inability of Thameslink/Great Northern Railways to do the very simple job they're paid extremely well to do, shit weather, shit stewards, shit ref, shit linesman, shit performance from pretty much everyone in a white shirt. Nothing went right for United yesterday, from five minutes in it was clear it wasn't going to be our day. I'm not going to single anyone out as no-one had a good game. Actually I am going to single someone out; Danny Andrew who was at fault for both of the goals and had an absolute stinker. That's the second time he's cost us the game now, and it's mad that when you consider how Harrison Dunk ended the season that he's not first choice left back. But the rest of them, let's just hope it was an off day.

Man of the Match: Glenn McConnell, for being the only player to put in a more than 4/10 performance on his debut.

Soundtrack of the Match: Travis - Why Does It Always Rain on Me?

Unsung Hero: The A12/M11 for taking me as far away from E10 as possible.