An Ode to Cambridge United and Opening Up on Mental Health: Part Two
U's fan Connor O'Reilly (@cknnr) wrote a passionate and honest account of how Cambridge United has helped him with his battle with mental health. It was one of our most popular articles on the UTAS website, and got a fantastic reaction from all who read it. Two years later, Connor revisits just what the club has done for him, how he's getting on, and what we can all do to help each other during difficult times.
It’s been over 2 years since I decided to use UTAS’s amazing platform to open up about my personal battle with mental health and how well the club was doing in terms of fighting mental health so I thought it would be an alright time to see how the club has progressed since that article, how I am doing and what still could be done to battle Mental Health
Firstly, I’ll do a quick recap of myself since the original article was released. For the first time in my life, I am truly happy with who I am and what I have become. Immediately after the article was posted, the reception I got made me cry, showing how many people truly care, and how you are never alone. I had Harry Darling, Godric Smith and Ian Mather amongst others who chatted to me and wanted to check in on how I am, which was special. Before when I felt like when I was at my worst, I felt alone walking through those turnstiles, but now, I couldn’t feel better, I feel happy and relaxed, even if I might not look it. There are still days when I struggle, I won’t lie, and now dealing with probable ADHD, which can have its really “fun” moments, makes these days even harder but at the end of the day I’m having fewer down days than before which means the world.
One of the things that has kept me going forward is those U’s. I mean since the article came out, its been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. I mean I was writing the original article days before Exeter at home during the Covid season, and we all know how that ended. The tears after Stevenage and Harrogate, truly feeling like we threw it all away, to that Orient game and then that magical overcast day at the Abbey against Grimsby where we finally achieved the dream. Promotion. That party in front of the Newmarket Road turnstiles will go down in memory. That first year back in League One, the highs of Pompey, Ipswich, and Wigan away, to the lows of Gillingham & Wycombe at the Abbey, and Wycombe (again) & MK away. There was that small victory against Newcastle at St James, but I’m sure that’s been covered already. This year was, hard. Like really difficult, for everyone involved. A 5% chance to stay up at the start of April, and yet here we are, against the odds. Again, more than enough people have covered this season and I don’t want to relive MK away again. But, on the other hand stories that have gone under the radar might have been off the field. From United strengthening their relationship with Shout on our training wear to Ian Darler’s amazing work walking a staggering 3,229 miles to raise money for said mental health charity, and the fantastic work done by everyone who slept out at the Abbey that cold Friday February night to raise money for Wintercomfort whose work help improve the mental wellbeing of those who cannot afford a roof over their head and have to sleep rough every night. But the biggest story of them all, which certainly wasn’t looked over seeing as it made national news, was the story of the U’s new partnership with Mynurva to offer mental health counselling services for every season ticket holder over the age of 18. As someone who realises how expensive therapy can be, this is an amazing story and continues to show the amazing work that Alex Tunbridge and co are doing behind the scenes.
But as a sport, we can do better. We should do better. I consider us lucky at Cambridge where our fanbase is not resentful or hateful to opposition players or to our own. Yeah we all scream and shout abuse and let our pure emotions take over after an embarrassing loss or last-minute victory (we’ve all done it, intentionally or not), but we aren’t generally a hateful fanbase. Obviously there have been some negative stories over the years about the actions of a minority of U's fans, but the 1% don’t represent the rest of us or what we believe in. Away from United, I feel like we’re seeing a rise in racist and homophobic attacks towards players in football and this is disgraceful. We’re seeing stories on players being attacked on social media, having death threats sent to their families after conceding a corner or being in an unlucky position to have had a shot deflected off of them leading to a goal. We live in a world where people aren’t able to come out because of the hate they might receive. It’s not good enough. Obviously, it’s an issue that cannot be solved overnight, but we need to ask the questions of those at the top of the game. At the end of the day, these football players are humans, just like you and me. They have families, they have their own lives, they have their struggles. The only difference is that they train to play football, and we pay to watch them. So whenever you send a horrid tweet or shout some disgusting out of order abuse at a footballer, just think that they might be struggling in a way you may or may not understand. And U’s fans, be proud of what this club has become, and be honoured to see that we are trailblazers in becoming a Mental Health focused Football Club
If you are struggling and have a season ticket, reach out to Mynurva who are there to help you 24/7. If you do not have a season ticket then still speak out to a Mental Health site like Mind or Shout, or even just speak to your GP. If you work, you should have access to benefits making sure you feel okay and safe, open up and ask for health. From personal experience the hardest thing was to open up and say that “I am not okay, I need help” but after that it gets so much easier, even when it seems like it won’t. Be proud of the club, be proud to be a U’s fan, and remember as always, it’s okay to not be okay.
UTAS is brought to you in partnership with Shout. Shout are always there for you to provide round the clock mental health support, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Just text 85258 to get put in touch with a trained volunteer. Fully confidential, at no cost whatsoever.